Foreigner Flops

When traveling and working abroad, being in unfamiliar situations can often lead to embarrassing or humorous moments – I would like to share a few of my most notable ”Foreigner Flops” during my first 3 weeks here:   

1. Spanish phrases:  for some inexplicable reason if I can’t think of the right word in Tajik, my default goes to Spanish.  I have yet to get a response from “repete por favor?” or “si, yo tambien”
2. The Man Hug:  Tajik men make a point of greeting each other with a handshake, and frequently a man-hug — very similar to the  Western-style man hug:  Unfortunately there is one crucial difference.  Instead of each head moving to the  person’s left, enabling the hug, my experience with the Tajik way is to move the head to the right.  As I’ve started to get to know some of the guys at the MFI and graduated from a “handshake acquaintance” to a “handshake-to-hug friend”, I’ve botched a number of these hugs by me instinctually going to my left and my hugee going to his right.  An awkward back away takes place, and then we both reverse our position, resulting in another awkward back away (similar to when one person offers a fist-pound and the other a high-five).  I think I’ve been temporarily demoted to a “handshake-only” colleague, until I can adjust the mechanics of my hugging style.
3. The Dog:  When I initially arrived at my Microfinance Institution (MFI), one of my first greetings was a good solid barking from the sizable guard dog, chained to entry wall.  
   

   "Huma" the guard dog

   Last week I wound up staying at the office a couple of hours later than usual to try to finish up a report for my portfolio rep at Kiva Headquarters.  What I didn’t realize was that during the evening/night, Huma is no longer chained to the wall, but in fact free to roam the grounds of the MFI’s courtyard.  I walked out of the office feeling quite satisfied with myself for finishing the report, and made it a number of paces, before I had to turn tail and run back indoors with Huma in hot pursuit.  I am pleased to say I made it back, slamming the front door and waiting for the security guard to put Huma on her leash again so I could make my exit.  My conversation with the security guard, which consisted of me repeating the only two relevant words in my vocabulary, “me bac shed” (excuse me / sorry) and “rahemat” (thank you), must have been riveting. 

Thankfully, in spite of these differences, there are still some certainties… 

1. Moving your hand through the air as though you were signing some kind of imaginary paper is still the universal sign for “check please” (even though I have never seen anyone actually sign for a bill here, or use a credit card for that matter).  I have yet to encounter a country where this gesture is not recognized.
2. A well-timed head nod and smile is a near-universal greeting
3. Mountains are still fun to climb
   

   On top of Laylakul Pass

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